Azcool (azcool) wrote,

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Ok, so I woke up feeling both affirmed and pathetic this morning. My ex came home after spending two nights at his beni-friends house. I was upset because he had been gone for two days knowing that there was a curfew of 1am, but hey whatever. We had a short conversation and then left and went out to eat and walked around and read my Harry Potter book(which is getting good by the way; The Half Blood Prince). I came home and took a shower and went to bed. I had many different dream but one stood out to me.. it included my ex.. We were shopping at a mall and I had bought something earlier in the day but I needed to go back to the store to get it. Well the store was in the process of closing and it took a little time for them to find what I had purchased and then get it together so that they could give it to me (remember this is a dream, its all abstract). My ex decided to go wait for me at the car. Meanwhile I struck up a conversation with one of the employees who was at the store and we were talking forever.. it was about and hour or so since when my ex left that I finally left the store. I called him to find out where he was and what he was doing he said "Here at the car waiting for you...I missed you..." Other word were said that I don't remember but they left me feeling like he was flirting with me... Flirting?! My ex! *shakes head* Ok, so, whatever. My dream continues on a tangent that no longer involves my ex but I was like wtf. I letter thought about it and came to the realization that I want him to want me or at least miss me. I want to believe that there is some sense of longing in him for me. I know this isn't true but according to my dream its a desire that I harbor. Love can be so annoying sometimes...just give it up already! The body is supposed to follow the orders of the mind well my mind says stop feeling for him but my body(heart) is like well maybe if we wait then... Bull-Shit!!! Its never going to happen! I can't even sleep with out being haunted by these emotions.. whats the deal.. its not like he's my soul mate!
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